Does your officiant need to be at the rehearsal

For many couples, their wedding is an intimate affair and they desire to be acquainted with their wedding officiant before the actual ceremony.  That is why many people who get married reach out to a loved one, their minister/priest or Rabbi to preside over the nuptials.  If you think about it, this makes sense since your officiant will be in your wedding day pictures forever.  For couples traveling to Hawaii who want to be married in paradise, this usually means you have never met your officiant before.

Usually rehearsals are for the bridal party and the processional so they know what to do and how to walk.  Officiants typically do not rehearse the actual ceremony, (reciting vows etc.) because that would take away from the specialness and spontaneity of your wedding day.   Also, rehearsals are not needed since most all the components of the ceremony are in “repeat after me” format and your officiant will guide you through what to say, line by line, proficiently.

If you have a wedding coordinator, they will lead you through what is necessary to make a ceremony happen (bridal processional, where people stand, what to do with young children is they are flower girls or ring bearers, etc.) If you do not have a coordinator, and I am involved in the rehearsal, then I will take on this job and help you to know what you need to do.

Otherwise, when it comes to rehearsals, my part as officiant is not rehearsed at all. So, I end up just standing there as people do what they are supposed to do all around me. You can just as well put an empty chair in the place where I stand and accomplish the same thing.

Now, having said that, I thoroughly enjoy meeting couples and getting to know them before the ceremony.  I want to make myself available for pre-wedding consultations over the phone, using video chat formats or even an in person consultation in my office.  This way, I can connect with each couple I work with, get to know them personally and make sure everyone is on the same page. 

Rehearsals are not as conducive to that kind of intimate connection since there are family and friends vying your your attention.  If you want to get to know your officiant, set up a personal appointment with them beforehand and maximize your opportunity to get to know one another in a more intimate setting.

Looking forward to getting to know YOU better,

With Aloha,

Pastor Mark